Jenea Blackmon- Boston Photographer- We are Family Photography_edited.jpg

My
Journal

The Toasted Mama

Have you ever just been doing life and get hit with the sudden feeling that you are exactly where you need to be?


This phenomenon has been happening more often and I don't know if it's the universe's way of telling me to slow down or if in fact, all the mindfulness articles I've been reading (when I can't sleep ) are finally paying off.


Whatever the reason, I'm beginning to enjoy these subtle hints - that it's not so bad.


What's even more mind-blowing is that I can feel the most at peace after I cook my family a meal.


If you know me personally, you know that cooking has never been my forte.


I'm a snacker.

An ultimate grazer.


I could quite literally live off extra sharp cheddar cheese slices and Ritz crackers.


But, having tiny humans changed that.


I now need to teach them the importance of fueling their tiny bodies.


So, contrary to popular beliefs I have been finding moments of happiness in the kitchen.


I'm not talking about a quick breakfast or supper at the end of the day.

I'm talking about the kind of meal that makes you stop what you're doing, where you come inside from playing, make something yummy, and sit around the table while that golden sun peeks through; I'm talking about lunch.


As I watch my daughter take a bite into her 5th pickle, my son excitedly laying on his belly across the kitchen floor - kicking his feet in the air refusing anything I make..


I feel light.


And I mean light.


My mind, body and soul feels lifted.

The world stopped around me.


It's like I've been invited to an outer body viewing of the life I'm living.


My heart dancing to the sounds of the crunch of a petite dill pickle.

The sun highlighting the main characters in the story I'm creating.

The feeling of home swallowing me whole.


Weird, right?


But it's in those moments when everything becomes still, and I get lost in the the sun as it cast it's beautiful rays through my kitchen window. It's in that moment I get lost in the shadows of the light. My mind screaming the importance of life.


The reminder that I am exactly where I need to be.


Worrying about the future will only rob you of the beauty you're working so hard to create.

Worrying about the future will rob you of the moments you crave to remember.

Rob you of your peace, your life, your clarity.


Mama it's hard, it's so damn hard.


But the anxiety doesn't have to identify you.

You don't need to lay it all out at once - progress is progress - no matter how small.


- Actually repeat that last line -


Progress is progress

No matter how small


So, as I sit under my kitchen window tracing the shadows of the sun on my thigh, watching the moments I want to remember when that's all I'm able to do.


My mind is still and I'm at peace.


I'm at peace as I choose to take a step back.

I'm at peace soaking in the messy moments.

I'm at peace as I give myself grace.


Right here.

Right now.

In the midst of the chaos.


I'm at peace.


Have you found it lately?


The beauty that you're creating.


Have you seen it?


How far you've come

All the progress you've made so far


If your vision is cloudy

Body riddled with anxiety


Know that those feelings are not your destiny.

Know that your presence matters

Know that life can be as messy as a toddler licking the peanut butter from their sandwich

But is just as easily cleaned like a wipe.


A wipe to remove your intrusive thoughts

A wipe to clean the mess

A wipe to a new perspective


Where you are today is somewhere you used to dream of getting to.

Life will get chaotic. Life will be exhausted. Life wont go as planned.


But if you take the time to remember..


That progress is progress

No matter how small


You'll find peace within yourself.

Happiness with where you are.


It's surrounding you.


Do you feel it?